Do we try to be unhappy with our lives on purpose? And, is it a generational thing?

Blake just got back from a trip to Colorado snowboarding. He made the comment that when they (Aaron and Blake) arrived in the airport, Aaron mentioned how he instantly felt like he was on vacation, whereas it took awhile for that sensation to kick-in for Blake. He felt home since we just moved from there, and since we spent a good portion of our year living out there in that airport! At dinner I told Blake that I was ok with living in Colorado, to which he replied, “It sure didn’t seem that way when we were living there.” Am I simply ok with living there now that I’m back home? I do miss the mountains, the water skiing, the snowboarding, and Mark, Cynthia, Trent & Pierce - and of course, Roxy.

Another scenario happened this weekend when my mom and me ran into an old family friend, Carol. Carol has a daughter, Kristin, going to school and she told us how Kristin kept changing her major and it took awhile for her to finally decide on the ‘one’. She then commented on how it seems like my generation never seemed happy - we want it all and we won’t be happy until we do.

I have plenty of friends who aren’t happy with their current situation - whether it be their job, their relationship, or their life in general. Is it just because my generation is now “20-something” the awkward stage in life in which you want everything but you don’t have enough experience to get it or is there something more to it? Were we raised differently to the point where we can’t be happy with what we have?

There is a question I have asked for years now, and no one has been able to provide me a satisfactory answer - do the color of your eyes affect how you see? Now, I haven’t asked an optometrist or any other professional before, mostly because I never think about it when I get my yearly eye exam.

If you think about it, how can you really define the color red? Perhaps the color red to me, with blue eyes, looks more orange to someone with, say, brown eyes. We are taught as young children that the grass is green and the sky is blue. But how do you really know what that is? If I am told since birth the grass is green, then any color I see as similar to it will be green. How does one define green or red?

Is there a difference between eye color or is just for “looks” with no purpose? Was there a mutation in genetics that caused the different colors? Is there a reason for it?

I asked Blake this question yesterday, and all he said was, “Sometimes you’re too deep for me.” If you couldn’t tell, this question has been bothering me for a long time now, so if you have a theory, I’d love to hear it.

Everyone has secrets and everyone is always trying to find out what other people’s secrets are. That’s how the entertainment publications make their money - posting secrets about celebrities.

Perhaps that’s why I find PostSecret so interesting. A self-proclaimed community art project, it has me logging in every Sunday evening to read what the new secrets are.

I generally leave the site in awe of human nature. Here is a place where complete strangers give up their most private thoughts to the world. Some are outrageous, some are hilarious. Some make you reflect, others make you cry.

The point is, they are freeing themselves of whatever weight is holding them back. And then, I find myself a bit jealous.

The study of medicine continues to intrigue me. One of my clients is a neurologist and he runs a website called SmartKit designed to ‘work your mind.’

His posts are always intriguing, interesting, challenging, or on occasion, disgusting (look for a post about milk - warning, you won’t be able to drink the stuff afterwards). Generally, the posts are about brain puzzles and IQ tests, but every now and then, he posts his experiences as a neurologist. One I found particularly interesting was the ‘Locked In Syndrome‘.

Another story I heard on the news last night, was three children have died due to the flu virus, here in MN. Most of us have been de-sensitized to the media - we hear the stories, thank God that hasn’t happened to us, and go on with our lives. When I hear or read stories like these, I wish I could do something to help them, and that is when I start thinking all over again about pursuing a medical degree.

After the story came on last night, I mentioned to Blake how that has to be so hard to lose a child, especially to something as common as the flu, and especially when there are vaccines out there, and it could have been prevented. Blake’s response was, “Well, if you become a doctor, what will you do when you lose a patient?”

I had talked to my mom about this same subject before, and my immediate reaction was, “Well, I wouldn’t be a surgeon, so my patients wouldn’t die.” And then I realize, people don’t just die in surgery. My mom then proceeded to tell me a story about my cousin’s grandma. Although my mom was a little fuzzy on the details, the jist of the story is she lost three children (my uncle’s siblings) - a 3-year-old and two infants. When asked, she would say, “It was harder to lose the infants because I never got to learn the personality or be with the infants like I was with the 3-year-old”

I guess that’s how doctors, and people in general, have to look at loss in their profession and lives. Be thankful that you were able to have the person in your life for however long they’re around and you were able to make some sort of impact on them. What kind of impact is entirely up to you.